• someone: hey how are you?
• me internally: i have been lowkey suicidal for months now. i can't muster the energy to properly take care of myself. i don't have anyone i can talk to about my suicidal tendencies because im very afraid of being hospitalized against my will or im afraid of sounding manipulative. im incapable of existing without relying on others approval and i hate it. time blends together. i avoid all social interaction. i can't even feel positive feelings for my friends who are happy because it just reminds me of what i don't have. i feel like i have no purpose in life. i just want to slowly fade from existence.
• me externally: oh im good! how about you

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filed under: # brainweird